The difficulty with anger is that is it highly visible to others – although perhaps it may be out of the awareness of the actual perpetrator of aggressive issues.
The world at large can very easily recognise someone who is angry. The angry person frequently has a public temper tantrum, yells at others at home and abroad, writes endless letters of complaint and generally throws his/her toys out of the pram on a regular basis. And the general populace then watches and makes voiced or silent comments but seldom replies or wants to risk becoming involved.
The person who suffers from fear or depression, conversely, may suffer in silence – perhaps without anyone even near and dear ever observing this form of distress. But not so for anyone whose principal emotive issue is anger and rage.
The result of having a distressing public profile, of course, will be that others may suffer under the influence or at the mercy of the aggressor while the anger perpetrator himself/herself may be unaware of the effect on others, may feel no remorse or may even feel justified in meting out punishment. The end result may also be the alienation of the aggressive person. A head-on confrontation with an angry person can lead, for instance, to domestic violence, street fights and world wars.
The peddler of rage may, of course, be mistakenly convinced that no solution can be forthcoming even if he/she is cognisant of his/her dilemma. The solution will always be to investigate the root cause of the client’s anger which, back in the past, may well have been justified. From this vantage point, the client can then resolve the issue at its source. This will be an infinitely better solution to the situation than merely reprimanding the culprit and increasing any feelings of guilt and indignation at being challenged.
It may also be advisable to gently inform the aggressive person of the effect which he/she may be having on others – particularly when he/she is unaware of any manifestation of the anger issue. It may, of course, be advisable to choose an opportune moment for imparting such news rather than doing so in the heat of the moment. Another way of approaching the angry individual may be to point out that the problem does not stem from the present circumstances or the behaviour of another but that anger is usually seeded way back in the past when the distress initially took root. A subtle nudge in the right direction may prevent the inflamed person from enduring crippling remorse or, alternatively, from continuing to blame and punish the wrong people for his/her heated feelings.
It may, of course, be impossible to reason with some people but an attempt may help to increase the individual’s awareness. And it will be an inner awareness of uncontrollable anger which will prompt the distress sufferer to seek help.
If your kindly approaches fall on deaf ears then you may seriously want to consider your close relationship with that person as a self-protective tactic for your own wellbeing and thus you might consider why you are allowing yourself to be used and abused by an unfeeling person.
If you yourself suffer from anger issues, or live under the umbrella of someone with violent tendencies, then please visit the Jacquelyne Morison Hypnotherapy Training website at www.jmhypnotraining.co.uk and go to the “Find a Practitioner” page so that you can resolve the problem for yourself and for those around you.
Jacquelyne Morison